Frugal Dee

Oh boy, everyone says I have gained weight…I’m getting fat..i used to think maybe in the deepest recess of my mind, that maybe i have gd genes and didnt have to work out since i hit my mid-teens to be slim..but you know,now i’m doubting it.

I used to live by the rule(but i also used to be more active):

1. if i can still see my toes,

2. if i can tie my shoelaces,

3. if i can walk a flight of stairs without feeling out of breadth,

4. if i could sit down and not look like a potato,

5. if i could sit down AND my layers of shirt don’t just dissapear into folds of skin

then i’m fine! But you know..i’m not too sure anymore!I can still see my toes but my breathing!!!i’m worried. How did it turn out like this??It’s work i tell you. Work makes ,people who sit infront of computers all day, fat. Maybe the cheezels every morning contributed to it BUT!but!i probably ate it because Work made me hungry. yup Work! Maaaaaaayyybeee also the tiny little insy bitsy fact that I don’t exercise anymore but Work takes up sooo much of my time I go hme feeling tired.hmmm. its Work i tell you. Work starts with a capital W because Work!is whole being on its own. Waiting for fresh grads and people who need cash and then slowly eating them up one day by one day. When finally we all become despondent and crazy.

Then we get thrown into some mental institute and Work just continues its preying on innocent victims. It’s smart. It creates this thing like Work is cool and Work has many benefits. Like when we were all young and we used to play office(hey!if you didn’t it’s because you have a deprived childhood..not beacause i’m weird or anything..no i’m not getting defensive!!!!)..and thought being adults and working is sooooo cool!and everyone wanted to be the secretary or boss where we get to stamp stuff and write stuff. Work is so smart. It starts preying on us since we are young..conning young impressionables to think its cool and its actually harmful,like Ciggarettes!(thats what they claim)

So if they can ban smoking, start some campaign and put ugly photos on packs why not start a campaign on Work..Work is bad for the health too. I’ll start by placing ads of working people who look like zombies (like my friend Maddie and me, you can find us at Outram at 6.30pm with drool dribbling at our mouths and just sitting there like zombies)

I’m gonna start a cafe for "people who dun wanna work" yea!and i’m gonna sell drinks and stuff and you could just hang around and bum…what did you say?I’ll be working?oh ya…i will be selling drinks which means i’m working!!!!…damn it.

grrrrr….

oooo! i see cheezels.

MMMmmmmmm Cheezelssssss.

Personally I find using a computer is like wooing it. It’s so freaking fragile. If you’re really pressurising it, it’ll just "breakup" with me.(in other words, die on me) I try and be positive about it but it’s hard..sigh

I have totally no idea why computers choose to die on me. First few comps I killed were at work(but they were old) so ok maybe not me. Then my computer at home keeps giving me weird msgs.(no not porn) Maybe since I kicked my first computer, they started some unknown club that vows to boycott me.

Now the mac at work is going all weird on me. boy…

I can just imagine their smooth screens going slightly brighter when they see who it is that’s using the computer.("it’s the girl!!!it’s the girl!!!"flicker flicker in excitement) Then through the wires and cables they start gossiping about me in computer language and Then! when I’m just about to trust the computer and do some serious work, they say "OK NOW!". Kaput. It dies. Just like kamikazes and suicidal bombers, they sacrifice their lives.

And a subtle click click goes off in computer land, adding another successful strike to the list and also a monument in memory of the beloved pentium or mac which was bravely remembered for the deed it’d done in, computer land. *KICK!(it doesn’t deter me from doing that still. although I haven’t done it to the mac<but that’s!because it’s a laptop>)

What can I say computers love me and i….love them. I have this wonderful relationship with them.

It’s harder than maintaining a r/s with a person.

Ok bye bye,

wish me luck in this "r/s"(at least it let me write a few lines here).

Goodmorn..

Yesterday, Maddie and me went to visit Gina who had an operation to treat her appendicitis. <She could still bake cookies on Friday. amazing unitl she couldnt walk then her bf carried her.In Diana’s words "very man!!" haha> So i was telling Maddie <Oh and she told me a joke…"what did Black eyed peas fergie say to Char Kuay Teow man??" "Mai Hum Mai Hum"….oh boy i still love maddie no worries…hahaha> so anyway back to what i said to her. This hospital visit would be an opportunity for her to find a cute doc. SO!She!actually hashed out a plan, a whole way of getting hospitalised herself. Gina said most of the cute docs are at A&E so her plan was to get hospitalised asap.

This is how it goes:

Maddie: "ok so when going home, I jump infront of cab then let it bang me"<all laughing>

Me:" I’ll open the door and just get in UNCLE LOR AH SOO. "your friend how??" nvm just drive uncle!"

Maddie:"Then you turn around and i’ll give you the thumbs up and wink!<maddie’s doing the retarded face hahaha>"

Gina: " A u lift up your thumb means still ok, should be till cannot even lift thumb up. So must ask uncle reverse a few more times."

Yup work does strange things to all of us. Maddie unfortunately wanted to eat her dinner so we didnt carry out the plan.

I wanna go Womad!So let’s all rent a car if someone cant get HIS car then we drive up and bring our picnic stuff! Last year’s was a blast I’m hoping this yr would be really fun. raggae was really gd last yr.

Ok i gotta go back and do work<termite man is here!knocking those white conga dancers out.eeks>

BYE ALL!

Hello.

It’s Saturday and I’m at work. Yes I work 6 days a week. Oh well..The only thing I look forward to is the new light fixture on my table. How sad is that!haha. Oh and also the whole nest of termites infesting in a corner in our office. Our office is made of wood and it’s kinda "zenish". Termite guy was suppose to come in but he didn’t. The white guys are probably enjoying the cardboard(it’s their delicacy is what we were told)and bobbing their heads to the music we play , they probably got a whole lively community going on in there disco and restaurant and all.Maybe forming a conga line as i speak now.
Termite man came the last time and we had to expose them to the sun.(they die once dey are exposed to the sun) And then we vacuumed the remaining ones so maybe they kinda got sucked in shouting <weeeeee!> and then coming out of the other end screaming,"AGAIN!" gleefully. We gotta find the queen or esle they tiny ones will go back to mothership and go at it again ad then!soon we’d be wearing safety helmets at work.(potential thing to look forward to..hmmm) :>

Other than that my poor friend’s blog is getting very annoying messages. Goodluck Maddie. haha

Right back to work and my bobbing white friends.

I wanna doo doo.. so tired..

Boy oh boy work can be so dreary. I’m counting down the days. But then again cash is not bad.

Boy oh Boy….

My fingers are itching to pick up my book and complete reading it but i can’t.
For those who can, pick up Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere.

Oh yea and maddie got Booped. Like how i got Butted she got Booped. Nooo not by a woman by a MAN!hahahahaha…so this is living proof of "if you feel down always remember there are others who are going through worse" haha…i sympathise with her though.

I need to go do sports. I’m getting lazy I wanna be able to climb a flight of steps in my office and not pant after. I miss being sporty.in a way.I miss the sun.

k byebye.. iwannadoodoo…

Oh yes and before I forget I hereby publicly swear solemnly that it wasn’t me who disturbed you maddie in your blog about the NTUC branch thing although its really funny(you think i’m funny!!!mua haha) but it aint me.Honoured!but ain’t me dearieee.

Couldn’t think of a better title than my lunch. (for the benefit of friends of other languages:) it’s fried kueh tiow without the hum no not my humps not my lovely lady lumps.sorry couldn’t help it. It’s cockles.)

Anyway, Thanks Iza for the optimistic way of looking at it.(which was thank god it wasn’t sandwiched) haha~shivers

These few days have been quiet. Not much of disturbing stuff. But something’s got me thinking. (And I warn you I’m seriously bored.) Ok here it goes….Superman in cartoon and drama series changes in the phone booth. Ever thought what it’d be like if the country was different?I can’t imagine Superman being local. Where’s he gonna change?This all started due to a joke between me and maddie about superman in a lift.

Here’s a couple of scenarios.

1. Superman changes in a local phone booth:(Our phone booths are open there’s no door.)
Our dearest Clark runs into a phone booth, (into a booth that’s dark and plastered with Singtel IDD ads.) He’s stuffing himself into the blue leotard emblazened proudly with the letter S so he can save the cats from getting culled at night. So he’s rushing to put on his undies and here comes Mr. ImmigrantOnWorkPermit(but maybe illegal) in his sarong tied round and tucked into his waist with his IDD call card waiting to call his girlfriend.And all you can see is the teeth. Scary part is Mr. ImmigrantOnWorkPermit might think it’s nice. Now who’s gonna save superman.
SUCESS RATE: 2/10(He’ll be lucky to even find an empty booth at night)

2. Superman changes in a lift in S’pore:(S’pore,not many high rise buildings)
He rushes in with his suit and specs pressing the highest floor. He’s rushing to save a damsel in distress whose just got flashed via bluetooth during lunch. He puts on his body suit first(rem, superman’s undies are on outside) then when he’s jus about to put his signature red undies on and shout "SUPERMAN" the lift door opens and people catch him pulling it halfway up in a half crouch position with his blue ass wiggling in the air. Very embarrassing plus no time to even put on cape.
SUCESS RATE: 4/10(He might even get jabbed with angry aunty’s umbrella)

PLUS!He might get lulled away from his flying and saving duties by the ever local SPGs.(ang moh in leotard and whose in his undies already leh!Wooohoo!!!)

For now this is all I’m able to think of but my verdict is still Superman can’t be local.If you can think of reasons why he shld or shldn’t be localised please feel free to post something.(it’s toll free. Don’t worry no charge for gold taps and first class flights overseas.)

Only reason why I think maybe he’ll be successful here is the possibility of him being a very cheap,convenient,user and evironmentally friendly aircon in this hot Singapore weather. Just don’t pass him the fake jade pendants sold in chinatown. Don’t wanna risk it being a kryptonite.

Warned you i was bored.:) K bye!have a gd dinner all.

Okay today started of alright,just the usual of waking up with puffy eyes and rushing for trains.

Now I have to rant.:)

My friends know I’m anal-retentive.So yea.. i’m kinda particular about some stuff.for e.g. Like strangers standing too close to me?I cant help it. ha..

So anyway as I was saying..I got BUTTED.Yes there’s no typo. It’s butted not buttered.

What’s butted?Well to put it simply, people oblivious of their large posteriors who lay them everywhere. I mean EVERYwhere. Bus poles mrt poles and lastly,people!eeks

So here comes a guy(calling him huge ass dude) who has an annoying face in working clothes. Very proper looking but he’s remember!Huge Ass Dude. As i was saying,..he walks into the train and plonks himself where he likes. Unfortunately where i was standing was it that day.

He’s the kind who thinks people will give way to him once he walks somewhere. Very annoying. "Unfortunately I can’t huge ass dude!there’s people beside and behind me." Obviously he didnt read my thoughts. He walks right infront of me and, with my morning slurred mind, didn’t realise i was the unfortunate victim. Before I could anything with my unsuspecting hand which was holding my bag infront so people beside me had space, Huge Ass Dude plonked his ass ON my hand!!!!EEKS. Now that’s gross but here it gets more disturbing. I had to remove my hand…in order to do so I had to either move up or down, and both left me brushing his ass.EEEEKss.Stupid part was he didn’t even seem to notice!yuck!Probably numb from dragging all that fatty loose baggage hanging out on his end.

So if Huge Ass Dude, you hapen to ever realise I’m talking about you and the feeling in your ass happens to come back miraculously, please don’t ever do it. No one wants fatty bits lying anywhere.

To end it off,here’s a fat ass joke that hopefully will make you realise the fatty bits.

" Your ass is so fat when you took a shit, you had to use a map to wipe it."

Ok:>other then that I’m looking forward to my day. Have a good lunch and dinner!